In a nutshell...
- Cisco
- Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
- One of a kind, and just like the rest of them.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Who knows what the Heck netstep.net is but it substituted my e-mail for theirs, and now i can't log in :@, i hope google help is able to help
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The confession
February 23rd, 2009
Edited and typed Tuesday June 16th, 2009
This is my confession. My prequel. It will be written in pen because I will make mistakes and those mistakes are worth recording. I will begin to read a book titled: The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. Every day for forty days I will read one chapter. I will read it in the morning, and think about the topic through the day. At the end of that day I will jot down my experiences, my thoughts, and the way I reflected for that day.
This book was recommended, and lent to me by Beatriz Vences. Bettie is amazing. The night I met her, I somehow felt as though she was different. We met in the dance floor. I am typically very shy at times when it comes to meeting new girls, but with no fear whatsoever, I approached her and asked her to dance. We danced the night off like two water fountains dancing ever so comfortable with no real purpose except that which their creator had set upon them. We had breakfast and surprisingly got to know each other ver fast, very well. Since the first day, she told me that she is a Chistian. She also spoke about a little book called: As a man thinketh by James Allen. I already read this book by now and I have to say that it was intriguing. Anywho, Bettie and I hastely fell in love with one another, and sadly with lust too. Though now we realize it was wrong, nothing felt more correct in the moment. We blindly yet very passionately allowed ourselves to be swallowed by sin, that later engulfed us in the dispair we hold today. We would spend as much time as possible with not a dull moment. We were two birds that sung, danced, and loved one another with all of our hearts. We were two palm trees wrapped together forever to be. Two hopeless romantics either destined with a life together, or to encounter the deepest broken heart known to lovers; hearts not mendable but only through God and time. As I later understood, our sins were the protagonists to our potential demise. Though mistakes were commited, we still hold a thread of hope to our happiness. As of January 8th 2009, we both agreed on a five month break allowing us to grow in God's graces. We would dedicate our time and our minds to God, and to build up our spirit. It has been forty six days since and yes, very difficult. A task that must be overcome in entirety and with patience.
Growing up, I was baptized as a Catholic. My sister and I never went through our first communion. I suppose you could say I grew up dead to a church. My mother sometimes attends but my father holds different views towards the Catholic church. Therefore it came to no surprise that my sister and I didn't grow to hunger for the word the lord had created. My concept towards God was that he did exist. However religion did not convice me. There came a point in time whe I actually conviced myself that God couldn't possibly exist. This 'argument' was formulated by myself shortly after attending philosophy in college. This alleged argument stated that there can only be destiny or free will. They cannot co-exist. One cannot have water and fire alone co-existing in a single container with no help in keeping them seperated, thus one had to be false. If there was to be 'such a thing' as destiny then it meant that God knew one's actions, and one's life before they themselves had a chance to understand it. However, that would rule out free will because one's life would be dictated only by their final outcome. On the other hand, if free will was to be true, then that would mean that one's life is an open book and that looking into the future was impossible for anyone. According to my statement, if free will was a truth then God would know not my future. That being so then how could God be God and not possess that atribute. So I came to the conclusion that truth was either one or the other. In all honesty I myself prefered to believe that I am responsible for my own actions because destiny would free me from personal responsibility. Thus according to the alleged 'undefeatable' statement, God couldn't possibly exist because I prefered to believe in free will. Then... I became like a deer frozen solid i the middle of the road. I was staring straight into the lights of God's vehicle. It was then when it all became so unimaginably clear. Truth was brought into light, and allowed me to face my wrong interpretations of life. The message God whispered was something like this: Life is a highway... you can have a destination. As a matter of fact, you always have a destination whether you think of one or not. If you get into a car and drive somewhere, you are gonna get somewhere. The road you take however is for the most part up to you. You can decide on so many streets, alleys, freeways, long and short cuts, you name it. Your destination will still be there no matter the choices that is of-course if you even make it. God knows your destination and he knows the best way, but if you're not careful, your driving might end you up at a dead end, a destroyed road path, or worse over a cliff. Therefore, destination and free will could exist. God had allowed fire and water in the same container. As I shared this revelation with my good friend Danira, I was shaking with excitement because I had been touched by God. I couldn't believe that even though I had chosen to not believe in God, he still believed in me. As I wrote this just now, I did my best in translating what God made me see yet again.
* Under construction, will be back to finish the blog later
Edited and typed Tuesday June 16th, 2009
This is my confession. My prequel. It will be written in pen because I will make mistakes and those mistakes are worth recording. I will begin to read a book titled: The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. Every day for forty days I will read one chapter. I will read it in the morning, and think about the topic through the day. At the end of that day I will jot down my experiences, my thoughts, and the way I reflected for that day.
This book was recommended, and lent to me by Beatriz Vences. Bettie is amazing. The night I met her, I somehow felt as though she was different. We met in the dance floor. I am typically very shy at times when it comes to meeting new girls, but with no fear whatsoever, I approached her and asked her to dance. We danced the night off like two water fountains dancing ever so comfortable with no real purpose except that which their creator had set upon them. We had breakfast and surprisingly got to know each other ver fast, very well. Since the first day, she told me that she is a Chistian. She also spoke about a little book called: As a man thinketh by James Allen. I already read this book by now and I have to say that it was intriguing. Anywho, Bettie and I hastely fell in love with one another, and sadly with lust too. Though now we realize it was wrong, nothing felt more correct in the moment. We blindly yet very passionately allowed ourselves to be swallowed by sin, that later engulfed us in the dispair we hold today. We would spend as much time as possible with not a dull moment. We were two birds that sung, danced, and loved one another with all of our hearts. We were two palm trees wrapped together forever to be. Two hopeless romantics either destined with a life together, or to encounter the deepest broken heart known to lovers; hearts not mendable but only through God and time. As I later understood, our sins were the protagonists to our potential demise. Though mistakes were commited, we still hold a thread of hope to our happiness. As of January 8th 2009, we both agreed on a five month break allowing us to grow in God's graces. We would dedicate our time and our minds to God, and to build up our spirit. It has been forty six days since and yes, very difficult. A task that must be overcome in entirety and with patience.
Growing up, I was baptized as a Catholic. My sister and I never went through our first communion. I suppose you could say I grew up dead to a church. My mother sometimes attends but my father holds different views towards the Catholic church. Therefore it came to no surprise that my sister and I didn't grow to hunger for the word the lord had created. My concept towards God was that he did exist. However religion did not convice me. There came a point in time whe I actually conviced myself that God couldn't possibly exist. This 'argument' was formulated by myself shortly after attending philosophy in college. This alleged argument stated that there can only be destiny or free will. They cannot co-exist. One cannot have water and fire alone co-existing in a single container with no help in keeping them seperated, thus one had to be false. If there was to be 'such a thing' as destiny then it meant that God knew one's actions, and one's life before they themselves had a chance to understand it. However, that would rule out free will because one's life would be dictated only by their final outcome. On the other hand, if free will was to be true, then that would mean that one's life is an open book and that looking into the future was impossible for anyone. According to my statement, if free will was a truth then God would know not my future. That being so then how could God be God and not possess that atribute. So I came to the conclusion that truth was either one or the other. In all honesty I myself prefered to believe that I am responsible for my own actions because destiny would free me from personal responsibility. Thus according to the alleged 'undefeatable' statement, God couldn't possibly exist because I prefered to believe in free will. Then... I became like a deer frozen solid i the middle of the road. I was staring straight into the lights of God's vehicle. It was then when it all became so unimaginably clear. Truth was brought into light, and allowed me to face my wrong interpretations of life. The message God whispered was something like this: Life is a highway... you can have a destination. As a matter of fact, you always have a destination whether you think of one or not. If you get into a car and drive somewhere, you are gonna get somewhere. The road you take however is for the most part up to you. You can decide on so many streets, alleys, freeways, long and short cuts, you name it. Your destination will still be there no matter the choices that is of-course if you even make it. God knows your destination and he knows the best way, but if you're not careful, your driving might end you up at a dead end, a destroyed road path, or worse over a cliff. Therefore, destination and free will could exist. God had allowed fire and water in the same container. As I shared this revelation with my good friend Danira, I was shaking with excitement because I had been touched by God. I couldn't believe that even though I had chosen to not believe in God, he still believed in me. As I wrote this just now, I did my best in translating what God made me see yet again.
* Under construction, will be back to finish the blog later
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Not meant to be by Theory of a dead man
It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you
I might just disappear
Nobody wins when everyone's losing
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn away one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe
That there's no way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our lives
Nobody wins when everyone's losing
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn away one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
There's still time to turn this around
You with me building this up instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn away one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, baby I'm sorry to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you
I might just disappear
Nobody wins when everyone's losing
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn away one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe
That there's no way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our lives
Nobody wins when everyone's losing
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn away one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
There's still time to turn this around
You with me building this up instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn away one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, baby I'm sorry to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
My Girl
To see my love
sitting next to me
so close, not wrong
we were born to be.
After school, during school
the passion's tremendous
we're pros, yes not fools
whew, she is stupendous.
This girl I adore
when I hold her closely
the sound like a roar
from my heart just hear me.
The scent yet so sweet
her skin and a her hair
sweeps me off from my feet
feels like I'm carried by air.
I'm truly captivated
as how her skin is so tender
this poem's been created
and to her this I render.
sitting next to me
so close, not wrong
we were born to be.
After school, during school
the passion's tremendous
we're pros, yes not fools
whew, she is stupendous.
This girl I adore
when I hold her closely
the sound like a roar
from my heart just hear me.
The scent yet so sweet
her skin and a her hair
sweeps me off from my feet
feels like I'm carried by air.
I'm truly captivated
as how her skin is so tender
this poem's been created
and to her this I render.
Francisco M. Loyda
2005
-- This was the second poem I ever wrote. As noted by some of the primitive verses, I felt a type of puppy love, as all teens confuse for true love. The poem was written and dedicated to Adrianna Arce, a high school ex-girlfriend and a very good friend to this day. I believe I wrote this in a school bus as I distinctly picture the north west corner of the old high school campus as we were driving by. Not to much of a surprise, I once entered this poem in an online website but received bad reviews. I only had the trial version of the website so consequently, I could only view about ten words per comment. The comment that I got went something like this : I normally like love poems, however I did not like this one... I never went back into the website lol. Nevertheless, I wasn't discouraged and so I kept writing.
2005
-- This was the second poem I ever wrote. As noted by some of the primitive verses, I felt a type of puppy love, as all teens confuse for true love. The poem was written and dedicated to Adrianna Arce, a high school ex-girlfriend and a very good friend to this day. I believe I wrote this in a school bus as I distinctly picture the north west corner of the old high school campus as we were driving by. Not to much of a surprise, I once entered this poem in an online website but received bad reviews. I only had the trial version of the website so consequently, I could only view about ten words per comment. The comment that I got went something like this : I normally like love poems, however I did not like this one... I never went back into the website lol. Nevertheless, I wasn't discouraged and so I kept writing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)